Today was one of those days. A day that I just wanted to get stuff done! I had set in my mind all of the things that I wanted to accomplish and I was going to GET IT DONE!! History should tell me that on days I want to do what I want to do; it's NOT going to happen. The kids just get in my way, the dog barks outside, I have to feed everyone, wipe everyone, clean up after everyone, and the rage just builds up inside of me. . .I JUST WANT TO VACUUM!!! I get frustrated, give short answers, get annoyed that Brynn just wants to be held or cried every time the vacuum started. I wish Avery would just play by herself instead of needing me to help and do everything with and for her!
Do you know these days or am I the lone crazy woman? At lunch today I was trying to refocus. Telling myself to respond first with mercy; that's how God deals with me. I knew I could do it - I was willing myself too! Of course you know I couldn't. Today I was struggling with PRIDEFUL SELF SUFFICIENCY! Ouch! I could get it ALL done. I didn't. I could respond with grace and mercy. I couldn't. I would be a good wife and mom. I wasn't. I read a blog today by MckMama, http://mycharmingkids.net/2010/08/im-gonna-miss-this-2/, and it changed my heart and perspective.
God used this blog to grab my attention - YOU ARE MISSING IT!!. My house may be clean when my hubs gets home, the kids fed and happy, but what did I invest in them today? I am going to miss it. I already think back to Avery as a baby and can't believe how quickly she has grown up. I am pretty sure she is going on 16! God threw some perspective my way today! "SLOW DOWN, you don't want to miss what I have for you".
Children are a blessing and I am responsible to tenderly love them and teach them. Asking God for strength to train them and respond to them with mercy. Most days my strength only carries me to nap time and then to bed time! How sad that I would live for 2:00pm and 7:30pm. I need to be living for ALL the time in between. I can read Brown Bear, Brown Bear, What do you See? 15 times in a row. I can play babies with Avery, push the swing for an hour, sit on the floor and build a tower to watch it get knocked over, and over, and over again. I can do all of those things, but I CAN'T miss this time in my girls lives. I will miss it! I needed this reminder today!
1 comment:
I know what you mean. I was a little sad after I read Mcmamas blog because I feel like I am missing so much and I am going to miss so much with #2. But at the same time it made me more aware and thankful for the few hours a day I do get to spend with him. I'll keep you in my prayers since I know that this is something we are all going to have to remember and practice. Love you! give the girls a kiss for me
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